


you're all i want (for christmas)

by kikimateohytes



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Bit of Drama, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas future, Christmas present, Established Relationship, F/F, First Christmas, Fluff, bit of angst, christmas past, lesbians being cute, ultimate cute happy christmassy ending, year in the life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikimateohytes/pseuds/kikimateohytes
Summary: Brooke and Vanessa are excited to spend their first of many Christmases together as a couple.Classic "Christmas past, present and future" fic.
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Comments: 16
Kudos: 22





	1. 2018

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic to force myself to get into the Christmas spirit since 2020 was such a weird year and I hope it can get you feeling festive too.
> 
> Hoping you all have an amazing 2021!

12th March 2018:

Brooke Lynn had never wanted to be at home more than she did right now. It was Detox’s birthday, one of her best friends from college, and while she should be excited to spend the night celebrating with her friends, all she wanted to do was go home, have a hot bath and go to sleep. She had been absolutely killing herself at work recently, trying to impress the senior partners at the law firm she worked at which had meant pretty much little to no relaxation time and the one night off she could afford to take would have to be spent in a club? Not ideal, at least not for Brooke. 

She walked into the club with Nina at her side. Nina had spent the last ten minutes outside the club giving Brooke a pep-talk as to why she shouldn’t bail on this birthday party and eventually Brooke agreed to stay for at least an hour or two. Brooke knew that the reason Nina wanted her to stay so badly was so that she wouldn’t be left alone with Detox’s work friends but Brooke could understand that. She wouldn’t want to be left alone with complete strangers in a club either. 

They handed their coats into the coat check and as soon as they turned the corner, they were straight in the middle of the club’s dancefloor. It didn’t take long for them to spot Detox in the massive booth that she had reserved for them, dancing on the table and drinking straight from a bottle of champagne. Nina rolled her eyes fondly at the birthday girl and Brooke knew deep down that this was going to be a messy night if Detox had her way. 

It seemed as though they were the last two to make it to the club. There were only two empty seats left at the table and after they had said hi to Detox and wished her a happy birthday, the two girls sat down opposite each other. Brooke turned to her left to say hi to whoever she was sitting next to, just to be polite, but what she saw took her breath away. The girl next to her presumably worked with Detox and considering they worked in the fashion industry, all of Detox’s friends always looked phenomenal but Brooke was absolutely overwhelmed by this girl’s beauty. Brooke had to physically make an effort to close her mouth because if she didn’t her, her jaw would have probably been on the floor in a matter of seconds.

“Hey…I’m Vanessa.” The girl smiled brightly at Brooke and Brooke knew that she must look like an absolute creep considering that she had just been staring at her and not saying anything. Brooke quickly recovered and was able to hold a conversation with Vanessa without making herself look like an idiot. They talked about work, about how they knew Detox, just basic things that strangers would talk about. But there was something about how at ease Brooke Lynn felt the entire time she was talking to Vanessa. It was easy…almost familiar. 

Detox kept ordering rounds of shots for the table and was refusing to let anyone get away with not taking one. Everybody had been on the dancefloor and doing things that normal people would do when they went to a club, but not Brooke and Vanessa. They had spent the entire evening getting closer and closer to each other on the couch after each shot was brought to them.

Brooke swore she had never laughed as much as she did that night. Vanessa’s stories were hilarious and the way she told them made Brooke captivated by her every word. She genuinely believed that Vanessa could read the phone book to her and Brooke would still be highly entertained. Vanessa’s humour aside, they seemed to have an amazing connection considering they had only met two hours ago. Brooke found herself opening up to Vanessa more than she would to her own family members and that said something about how approachable Vanessa was.

After the third hour of talking to Vanessa, Brooke knew she had to get her number. She couldn’t let her get away without asking her out on a date. She knew that they were both tipsy but surely Vanessa must feel how intense their connection is too, right? Brooke was working herself up to ask Vanessa, all of her usual confidence with flirting with women completely gone, when something ruined her chances. 

That something was Nina. She had been out dancing with Detox and the rest of the group and came back to the table and loudly announced that she was going to puke all over the floor if she didn’t get out of there immediately. Any other night, Brooke would have laughed at Nina since she is notoriously known for being bad at holding her liquor, but tonight Brooke found herself being a bit upset that her night was being cut short, which was a big change to how she felt at the beginning of the night. 

Brooke apologised to Vanessa but of course Vanessa understood that she had to take care of her friend. Nina bolted towards the exit of the club, leaving Brooke to grab all of their belongings and run after her, hoping that Nina didn’t puke on the floor before she got there. 

Vanessa was sad to see Brooke go. She hadn’t felt a kind of connection like that with anyone in a long time. She awkwardly went to go and join Detox and the rest of her work friends on the dancefloor knowing she would immediately get teased by everyone for spending her entire night with a stranger. But damn, to Vanessa, it had been all worth it. 

\--- 

20th March 2018:

Brooke was sitting in a local brunch spot with Nina waiting for Detox to show up. She always knew in advance that Detox would be late to everything that wasn’t a night out in a club but every time it still managed to shock her. They had been waiting for half an hour now and Nina had not stopped apologising for how drunk she had gotten the week before at Detox’s birthday party. Brooke was hoping Detox would show up soon, not just so they could order their food but so she could stop listening to Nina apologise for the hundredth time in a row. 

Finally, Detox decided to grace them with her presence and they all ordered their food and of course, Detox put an order in for three mimosas and Nina immediately turned it down. Nina started to, once again, apologise for how drunk she had gotten and Brooke had, once again, reassured her that it was no big deal and that it happened to all of them every once in a while. Detox told them the stories of what had happened after Brooke and Nina left the club and from the sounds of it, Detox had gotten even drunker than Nina had. 

“Vanessa had to bring me back to my place, I could barely fucking remember my own address!” Detox laughed while telling the story which seemed to comfort Nina a lot, but Brooke couldn’t help becoming more interested in what Detox had to say once she mentioned Vanessa’s name. 

“Vanessa seemed really nice...” Brooke said kind of quietly, trying not to show the effect that Vanessa had had on her. In reality, Brooke had not stopped thinking about her. She could still hear her laugh and could still picture the excited look on her face when she was talking about something she was passionate about…but Detox didn’t need to know that. 

Detox raised her eyebrow, clearly picking up on Brooke’s unsubtle words. “Nice? Really, B?” 

“Yeah, we talked for a bit and she was a really nice girl.” Brooke tried to act completely uninterested but she knew that it wasn’t going well for her.

“A bit? Brooke Lynn Hytes, you spent the entire night with her.” Nina said while laughing and Detox joined in, both of the girls clearly enjoying that they had something to tease Brooke about. Brooke rolled her eyes in annoyance and realised that this wasn’t going to be as easy as she had previously thought. 

“Fine, can you please just give me her number, D? I really wanna talk to her again.” Brooke Lynn admitted and thankfully, Detox had a smile on her face and seemed impressed that Brooke had just asked for what she wanted instead of being too proud to admit that she had a crush on someone.

“Finally, I was waiting for you to ask…she’s been bugging me all week for me to give you her number, she can be the most annoying person when she gets her mind set on something,” Detox picked her bag up off of the floor and started searching through it, taking out a small business card and handing it to Brooke. “Here. Vanessa’s a wild one but she’s got a heart of gold, hope you enjoy.” Detox ended her sentence with a wink and Brooke could feel her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. She decided to wait until she got home to send the first message to Vanessa and she was beyond excited.

As soon as she got back to her apartment, she got changed into some comfier clothes and sat down on the couch with her phone in her hand. She didn’t know how to start off the text to Vanessa. She didn’t want to appear desperate or uncool. But she also didn’t want to sound like she didn’t care. She decided to just play it safe and say hi, even though she knew deep down that it would probably be an extremely boring text for Vanessa to receive. 

B: Hey, it’s Brooke Lynn from the club. Detox gave me your number, how are you?

As Brooke pressed send, her heart rate immediately sped up. She hated how lame she sounded but she couldn’t help but stare at her phone waiting for a response. Thankfully, Vanessa replied almost immediately.

V: Well well well, Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes. You took your damn time texting me, didn’t you? ;) 

B: Actually, Detox only gave your number to me an hour ago. She made me ask for it before she gave it to me lol 

V: Aww, so you wanted to talk to me again? That’s sweet :) 

Brooke felt like she was in middle school again. Texting Vanessa was just as addictive as talking to her in real life had been. They hit it off again right away and started talking about random things; how their weeks had been, how work was going and how much Vanessa wanted to adopt a kitten. After an hour and a half of texting and enough flirting to last a lifetime, Vanessa had enough.

V: So Brookie, when are you gonna ask me out on a date?

B: Lol, how about I ask you now?

V: Seems like a good idea, you should never keep a lady waiting

B: Dinner next Saturday? Promise not to keep you waiting again

V: Can’t wait :)

\--- 

27th October 2018:

Six months later, Vanessa and Brooke were still together. Brooke asked Vanessa to be her girlfriend on their second date and since then, they were inseparable. Every moment they had off work was spent in either Brooke or Vanessa’s apartment (usually Vanessa’s since it was bigger) and they would cook each other dinner and just hang out, enjoying each other’s company. 

Vanessa was in her kitchen making pasta for her and Brooke to have for dinner that night. Brooke was coming over as soon as she finished work, which was any minute now, and Vanessa was nervous. She was going to ask Brooke to move in with her. Realistically, she knew that it might be too soon to ask but Brooke’s lease was coming to an end soon and she knew that Brooke hated her own apartment so the timing was perfect. Brooke hadn’t renewed her lease and that gave Vanessa hope that maybe she was thinking about moving in together too. 

Another factor that made Vanessa think this was a good idea was that they had said “I love you” to each other after just one month of dating. Vanessa had a smile on her face as she stirred the pasta sauce whilst thinking about their relationship. She knew deep down in her heart that their relationship was meant to be and that moving in together was the next logical step. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and Brooke let herself in. As soon as Vanessa heard Brooke’s voice, the nerves came rushing back. She knew that there was no backing out now. 

Vanessa had timed the dinner perfectly; it was ready as soon as Brooke had got there. She served the pasta into two bowls and handed one to Brooke and they sat down and enjoyed their meal together. Brooke noticed that Vanessa seemed different today, she was her usual energetic self but in a different way. Instead of seeming excited, she seemed nervous and jumpy. After they finished their meal, Brooke asked Vanessa what was going on and while Vanessa had an entire speech prepped in her mind about how she wanted to ask Brooke, all that came out was: “Move in with me.” 

There was a deafening silence in the room that made Vanessa even more scared and just as she was about to start rambling all of the different reasons that had made her even think of saying that, Brooke simply replied by saying “Okay.” 

“What?” Vanessa was shocked. Brooke planned everything out in advance. She had thought it would at least take some convincing to get Brooke to even consider the idea of moving in with her but no, she had agreed almost immediately.

“I said okay, I’ll move in with you.” Brooke replied like it was no big deal and got up to go hug Vanessa. Vanessa had an enormous grin on her face and decided that a hug was not enough. She grabbed Brooke’s face with her hands and gave her a massive kiss, not allowing either of them to come up for air until Vanessa was satisfied. Brooke picked Vanessa up with ease and brought her over to the couch where she laid her down and kissed her some more.

After a while, it hit Vanessa that this was really happening. Brooke was really going to move into her apartment. Their apartment. They were going to live together, see each other every single day. When she woke up in the morning, Brooke would be the first person she would see and when she went to sleep, Brooke would be the last person she spoke to. She was beyond excited. 

“So what are you thinking about Christmas? What kind of decorations should we get?” Vanessa asked with a tone that was so serious yet so endearing to Brooke at the same time. She laughed at her girlfriend’s eagerness and wrapped her arm around her side.

“October isn’t even over yet, babe. Let’s make it through Halloween first.” Brooke said with a laugh while she placed a kiss on the top of Vanessa’s head which made Vanessa giggle.

“Okay, fine…but if I find out you’re one of those bitches who likes those tacky colourful lights on their Christmas tree instead of white ones, I’m not gonna be happy.” 

\--- 

10th December 2018: 

Brooke Lynn walked out of the café near Vanessa’s office with two takeaway coffee cups and a paper bag in her hand. She had gone to work super early that morning so she could finish earlier and surprise Vanessa by picking her up from work. She picked up some of the luxurious hot chocolate and some champagne truffles (two of Vanessa’s absolute favourite treats) and walked into the large building in Manhattan where Vanessa worked. She took the elevator to the 42nd floor and walked over to the area where Vanessa’s office was located.

Vanessa’s eyes lit up every time Brooke walked into the room and Brooke didn’t think she could ever get tired of seeing it happen. Vanessa quickly ran over to her girlfriend and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before grabbing the hot chocolate and telling Brooke how much she loved her, which of course, Brooke replied to instantly. 

“You guys make me nauseous, stop being so in love,” Detox said loudly as she walked by with a ton of files in her hand. “Some of us have to work, we can’t just have our girlfriend pick us up and leave at five o’clock on the dot.” Brooke rolled her eyes fondly and Vanessa turned around to face her.

“Shut the fuck up Detox, maybe if you arrived to work on time you could actually leave on time for once!” Vanessa stuck her tongue out at Detox which made Detox break her bitchy façade and laugh back at her. Brooke loved sharing a best friend with Vanessa, it always made hanging out with people so much easier when they already both wanted to hang out with the same people. 

Brooke noticed that Vanessa had been a little down recently and she was on a mission to cheer her up. Her mom was going to visit her grandmother in Puerto Rico and Vanessa wasn’t able to take that much time off work to be able to go with her so it was going to be her first Christmas that she had ever spent without her mom. Therefore, Brooke had made it her own personal goal to make sure that the entire festive period was super fun for Vanessa so she didn’t even have time to think about missing her family. 

As soon as they left Vanessa’s office, they went to pick out a Christmas tree for their apartment because Brooke insisted the real ones were nicer to look at and smelled better than the fake ones. Plus Vanessa had never owned a real tree before and Brooke’s Canadian heart just couldn’t accept that. 

When they got the six-foot tree back to the apartment and got it all set up in its holder (meaning Brooke got it set up while Vanessa watched), Vanessa revealed all of the boxes of Christmas decorations that she had ordered in the last few weeks that she couldn’t wait to put up. There were a ton of different baubles for the tree, Vanessa had decided on a red and gold theme with, of course, the white Christmas tree lights. Vanessa even got a star to go on the top of the tree that had “B&V” written on it which made Brooke a lot more emotional than she cared to admit. 

Once they were finally finished decorating and Vanessa had finished her rendition of _All I Want for Christmas is You,_ the apartment looked like a Winter Wonderland. Vanessa knew that Brooke didn’t love Christmas as much as she did and that all of this was done to make sure that she was feeling okay about not being able to see her family and that made it all the better for Vanessa. Knowing that Brooke would do whatever she could just to make sure that she was okay made her happier than anything else ever could. 

\--- 

16th December 2018: 

Vanessa had her surprise for Brooke planned since September and she was extremely proud of herself for not ruining the surprise and telling Brooke everything immediately. She even checked with Nina and Detox to make sure that Brooke would absolutely love what she had planned for her and they agreed that, yes, she would enjoy it a lot.

Brooke used to be a ballet dancer and was good enough to be a professional but had to quit because of an injury that didn’t heal properly. Vanessa figured out quite quickly after knowing Brooke that ballet still meant a lot to her and was still one of her passions, even if she couldn’t do it the same way she used to. Brooke told her stories of how her parents used to bring her to see a ton of different ballet performances any time they left their hometown of Toronto to visit New York City because, in Brooke’s opinion, that’s where all the best ballet shows are. Brooke especially loved it during the Christmas season because that’s when her absolute favourite ballet, The Nutcracker, was performed. 

And that was exactly what Vanessa had bought them tickets to go and see. Vanessa knew that Brooke would never buy the tickets for herself. Working at a law firm was such a demanding job and she knew that if Brooke had time off, she would spend it with Vanessa instead of watching a ballet performance. So that’s why Vanessa felt that it was a necessity for her to spoil her girlfriend and treat her to something she wouldn’t even dream of buying for herself. 

Since it was a Sunday, neither of them had to go to work and they spent the day relaxing in their apartment not doing much. But around three o’clock, Vanessa told Brooke that she had a surprise planned and that they needed to start getting ready and putting their fanciest outfits on and to be ready for six o’clock. 

Vanessa worked for a fashion company, it was her job to choose and put together outfits for the brand to then go on and sell so when she saw how put together Brooke’s personal style, it made her very happy. Vanessa took her time curling her hair and noticed that Brooke was practically busting with excitement and Vanessa was overwhelmed with joy. 

They hopped in an Uber and went to Brooke’s favourite French restaurant and Vanessa felt so sneaky that Brooke believed her when she said that was the surprise. Brooke was so happy with having dinner but little did she know what was coming next. 

“I love you so much, V.” Brooke said as they were sipping on their wine and eating their meal. 

Vanessa smiled and felt her heart tug with joy. “I love you too, baby,” Vanessa had to stop Brooke from taking the dessert menu when the waiter offered it to them and Brooke looked so disappointed. “We have places to be, Brooke Lynn. We can order your cake next time.” Vanessa paid the bill and took Brooke’s hand. Brooke was already asking her a million questions about where they were going next and it took every fibre of Vanessa’s being to stay quiet until they finally reached their destination: the Lincoln Centre for the Performing Arts.

Brooke’s jaw dropped when she realised what building they were standing outside. “V…you didn’t.” Vanessa reached into her clutch bag and took out two tickets that said _“The New York City Ballet’s production of George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker”._

“Yup, Brookie…I did.” She waved the tickets in front of Brooke’s stunned face and Brooke grabbed them from her hands in shock. Vanessa watched as her girlfriend’s face went from shocked to ecstatic in just a matter of seconds and she was so happy that Brooke had reacted just how she had wanted her to. Brooke grabbed Vanessa’s face and kissed her like her life depended on it.

“Careful, babe…we’re going to the ballet, you can’t ruin my lipstick. I gotta look all fancy.” Vanessa said, taking out the small mirror she kept in her purse and making sure her makeup wasn’t ruined. Brooke laughed at her girlfriend’s dramatics and took her hand, leading her inside. They took their seats quickly and the show started at exactly eight o’clock. 

Vanessa had never been to a ballet show before so she didn’t really know what to expect. She was grateful that she was at least a tiny bit familiar with the Nutcracker as it was probably one of the most well know ballet storylines. But she didn’t watch much of the dancing. Brooke’s eyes were glued to the stage, she had a massive smile on her face throughout the entire performance her eyes were sparkling with delight. Vanessa spent most of the performance watching Brooke. Watching how happy the surprise had made her made Vanessa feel so proud that something she did had made the person she loved so happy.

\--- 

22nd December 2018: 

Brooke woke up on Saturday morning to the sound of a text notification on her phone. She felt relieved when she saw that Vanessa’s side of the bed was empty. She had gone to finish off her Christmas shopping and Brooke needed her gone to be able to collect and set up her Christmas gift before she got home. She was beyond excited to see Vanessa’s reaction to what she had got her. She just knows that Vanessa is going to love it. 

At first, Brooke had been a bit disappointed that she couldn’t keep the gift hidden until Christmas Day but that would have been impossible given the circumstances. Vanessa would definitely hear the gift making noise throughout the day. Plus, all of the shelters were closed on the 25th. 

Brooke quickly got dressed and braced herself for the cold weather. She walked the short walk to the shelter near their apartment and almost immediately after she arrived, a tiny kitten in a travel cage was brought out to her. Brooke fell in love with him instantly. 

She brought him home and was again thankful that Vanessa was gone for the morning so that she could get all of the supplies set up for their new family member. She had somehow managed to order most of the things online and keep them hidden from Vanessa which she thought would be a lot more difficult than it actually was. Usually Vanessa could tell when Brooke was hiding something but thankfully Brooke was able to keep it together this time. She went to the closet in the guest bedroom and lifted up the blanket that she had used to hide all of the supplies. She got him a new bed, a collar, some food and a food bowl, a litter tray and probably about twenty different toys. She knew that she may have gone slightly overboard with her purchases but could guarantee that Vanessa would love all of it. 

After she gathered all the supplies and brought them to the living room, she opened the door to the cage and tried to coax the kitten out. The people at the shelter said it might take a while for him to be brave enough to come out so Brooke decided to start setting up his bed and give him the space he needed. As soon as she was done setting up his new sleeping area with all of the different blankets, he slowly walked over to where Brooke Lynn was sitting on the floor. 

Brooke was so happy that she had met the little cutie a few times before bringing home. Now he wouldn’t be with total strangers as he had been able to get used to Brooke, even just a tiny bit. Brooke was being very still so that she wouldn’t frighten him and he immediately cuddled into her side and began purring. Brooke didn’t think she could love an animal as much as she currently did and she had only owned him for about ten minutes. 

She picked his tiny little body up and sat down on the couch with him, gently stroking his head. The kitten started to fall asleep and Brooke swore she had never felt as peaceful as she did in that moment. That all changed when she heard Vanessa using her key to open the door. She leapt up off the couch and put the kitten into his new bed and rushed to the door to greet her. 

“Hi baby,” Vanessa said as she opened up the door with about ten different bags in her hands. “What have you been up to?” 

Brooke Lynn could barely contain herself. “I have a surprise for you.” As soon as Brooke said that, Vanessa heard a tiny bell ring and as she turned the corner into the living room, she saw what created that noise. It was a bell attached to a collar…on a tiny little kitten. The exact type of kitten that she had told Brooke she wanted.

The kitten was standing in the middle of the room just staring up at her and Vanessa almost died from how cute he was. She ran straight to him and held him in her arms and it was clear that it was love at first sight for the both of them. The kitten rested his head in the crook of her arm and Vanessa never wanted to move a muscle again in case she disturbed his rest. 

Vanessa immediately started crying and Brooke knew that it was a happy cry. Vanessa often cried when she was overcome with love and Brooke was so happy to see it happen now. Brooke walked over to her small family and wrapped her arms around Vanessa’s waist.

“So what are you gonna name him?” Brooke whispered, not wanting to startle the cat.

“Thackery. His name is Thackery.” 

They spent the rest of the evening obsessing over his every move. Vanessa’s Instagram story was about thirty minutes long full of videos of her cuddling the cat and the cat playing with Brooke and even the cat falling asleep. It was safe to say that Brooke Lynn’s Christmas gift for Vanessa was a success. 

\--- 

24th December 2018:

Christmas Eve had always been one of the most peaceful days for Brooke and Vanessa. it was their first ever Christmas that they were spending together but they both had their own family traditions that helped make the day an extra special one. 

Brooke woke up to the smell of pancakes being cooked and felt her stomach growl with hunger. As she walked to the kitchen, she felt herself being eternally grateful that the companies she and Vanessa worked for were one of the nice ones that actually closed on Christmas Eve. 

When she reached the kitchen, she found Vanessa already dressed, flipping multiple pancakes on the stove and adding blueberries to them. The kitchen counters were full of bags from the grocery store and when Brooke took a peek inside them, she saw nothing but baking ingredients. Brooke simply raised an eyebrow at Vanessa who immediately began to explain.

“We have to make Christmas cookies because it’s my family’s tradition and we have to make the chocolate Christmas cake that you love because it’s your family’s tradition. Duh.” Brooke laughed at Vanessa’s response and was flattered that Vanessa always seemed to remember the little details about her childhood that Brooke told her. 

“Babe, I don’t think we’ll be able to eat all of that.” Brooke said and watched as Vanessa immediately rolled her eyes when she heard Brooke’s words.

“We will eat nothing but dessert for the next few days if we have to, this is a necessity.” Vanessa said seriously and Brooke tried her best to hold back a laugh. She decided to just agree with whatever will keep Vanessa happy and once they finished their amazing blueberry pancakes, they got to work. 

They spent at least three hours baking that day and both of their creations turned out really well which filled Vanessa with delight. What they failed to notice was Thackery climbing on the counter and getting flour all over his paws and leaving the tiniest little pawprints all around the apartment. Usually, a mess like that would make both of the women angry but they couldn’t find it in themselves to be angry at Thackery. He was just too cute to be mad at. 

Once they had Thackery’s mess cleaned up, Brooke made them both a cup of hot chocolate and they sat down on the couch all cozied up with their blankets. 

“What movie do you wanna watch, babe?” Brooke asked, knowing that Vanessa has an extensive list of favourite Christmas movies and that they would probably end up having a marathon of all of her favourites. As Vanessa began to list the pros and cons of each movie she was considering, Brooke knew that this was the best Christmas Eve she had ever had. 

\--- 

25th December 2018:

Vanessa had been lying in bed for what felt like hours. The alarm clock on her nightstand let her know that she had been awake since 6am and while that would have been an acceptable time for her to wake up at on Christmas morning as a child, she figured that Brooke wouldn’t appreciate being woken up at the crack of dawn as much as her mother used to. 

As soon as the clock changed to 7am, Vanessa decided that she couldn’t possibly wait any longer and woke her girlfriend up by kissing her over and over again until her eyes began to flutter open. 

“Merry Christmas, B.” Vanessa whispered as Brooke opened her eyes properly for the first time that morning. Brooke pouted her lips slightly, signalling that she wanted a kiss from her girlfriend, which Vanessa happily obliged to. 

“Merry Christmas, Ness.” Brooke wrapped her arms around Vanessa and Vanessa lay her head on Brooke’s chest. For the first time that morning, she felt totally calm. But she knew that if they lay there for much longer, they would fall back asleep and Vanessa just couldn’t accept that. Not when there were gifts that they had to give. 

Vanessa spoke to Brooke’s mom and found out that she always made French toast on Christmas morning so Vanessa had to carry on that tradition for Brooke. Vanessa finished her breakfast in about two minutes and spent the rest of her time telling to Brooke Lynn to eat faster so they could start exchanging gifts. 

Brooke finally finished her food and they headed to the sitting room where the Christmas tree was (Brooke had managed to convince Vanessa to let her delay the process by making a quick cup of coffee so she could match Vanessa’s energy levels) and Vanessa immediately sat on the floor and got ready to give Brooke everything she had gotten her. There was one gift that she was the most excited about and she couldn’t anticipate how Brooke was going to react. 

Brooke decided that she wanted to give Vanessa her gifts first which made Vanessa’s nerves grow slightly but she forgot about all of that when she was able to start opening up her gifts. Of course, Thackery was Vanessa’s main gift from Brooke and he sat watching his two moms from his bed, still not awake enough to join in on the fun. 

Brooke had still made sure to get Vanessa lots of little things that she could put under the tree to keep her girlfriend excited. She got her a ton of her favourite makeup products and Vanessa was insanely happy about that. She also got her some massage vouchers for a new spa that opened up near where they lived and she got her some Italian cooking classes with a professional chef that they were gonna take together since Vanessa adored Italian food. 

Vanessa was so happy with everything that Brooke had gotten her and decided that she would give Brooke her smaller presents before she gave her the big one. She got her some clothes that she had designed which made Brooke love them even more. She also got her a ton of books that she thought Brooke might be interested in and a bottle of her favourite perfume because she noticed Brooke was running low. 

There was just one box left under the tree: it was a small box and Brooke guessed it must be some sort of jewellery item. She opened up the box and it was a necklace, but when she looked a bit closer, she saw that there was a ring on the necklace where a charm or diamond would usually be. She held her breath as she read what it said on the box: _“I promise to be yours forever”._ Brooke Lynn could feel the tears coming into her eyes and Vanessa was so happy that she didn’t react badly. 

“Just to clarify, I’m not proposing to you or anything…it’s a promise ring that you can wear around your neck and one day, it’ll be your engagement ring.” Vanessa said softly, taking the necklace and moving Brooke’s long blonde hair out of the way so she can put the necklace on her. Brooke’s hands immediately went to hold the ring as soon as it was on her and she finally let the tears fall from her eyes.

“I fucking love you so much, Vanessa. I can’t wait to wear this ring one day.” Vanessa wrapped her arms around Brooke’s neck and they shared a kiss filled with so much love that Vanessa thought she might just get down on one knee and propose properly right then and there. But she contained herself. All she knew was, she had never felt so in love as she did in that moment.


	2. 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke and Vanessa hit a major milestone in their relationship but it doesn't take long for it all to come tumbling down around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me for this lol
> 
> I promise the next part will be super sweet and cute and it's the Christmas happy ending we all deserve lmao hope you enjoy darlings!

2nd January 2019: 

Brooke couldn’t believe her luck when she thought about how amazing the holiday season had been for her. 2018 had been the best year of Brooke’s life simply because that was when she met Vanessa and she couldn’t wait to see what 2019 had in store for them. Christmas had been amazing, they got to spend the entire day relaxing together and it was absolutely perfect. Then New Years Eve had come around and all of their relaxing times were officially over.

Detox had insisted they all went out to a massive party and while Brooke was reluctant (she had originally wanted to spend the evening with only Vanessa, not a bunch of strangers), they ended up having an amazing night. The next day, however, was not so amazing…simply because Brooke couldn’t handle alcohol like she used to.

Thankfully this morning she had woken up with her headache gone and her stomach settled. Which was good because she had an idea that had been on her mind ever since Vanessa gave her the promise ring. She wanted to buy an engagement ring for Vanessa. 

As she sat on the subway on her way to the jewellery store she had chosen, she held her ring that was on the necklace in her hand. She found herself doing that a lot lately if Vanessa wasn’t around, it made her feel close to her and like Vanessa was always with her. It also brought her so much joy knowing that she would be wearing that exact ring when they got engaged. It was just a massive symbol of happiness and joy to her. 

She knew that she couldn’t have a ring and not get Vanessa one. She also knew that throughout their relationship so far, she had always had it in her mind that she would be the one to propose. Even if they didn’t get engaged for a long time, she wanted to have the ring ready for whenever it felt like the right moment. She knew exactly what type of ring Vanessa would like, she had even called Vanessa’s mom and told her about her plan of buying the ring now and Mrs Mateo was thrilled about it. The only tricky part would be hiding the ring from Vanessa. 

Brooke was usually very strict with her money. She didn’t like to spend a lot of it on herself, especially if it was on something that she didn’t desperately need. But there was something about Vanessa that made her want to spoil her and give her the best of everything. Thankfully, earning a lawyer’s salary allowed her to do that. When the cashier at the store told her the price of the ring, she didn’t even bat an eyelid. She just handed over her card and immediately started thinking of when she would actually propose. That was the most important thing…and there was no amount of money in the world that would make Brooke feel happier than she did when she thought about Vanessa.

\--- 

12th March 2019:

It was exactly one year since Brooke and Vanessa had met. Detox’s birthday party last year had been something Brooke didn’t want to attend but was arguably one of the most important days of her life. And what were they doing to celebrate Detox’s birthday and to acknowledge knowing each other for an entire year? Going back to the exact same club that Detox had held her party at last year.

Considering Vanessa and Brooke Lynn had started dating pretty much immediately after meeting, it was coming up on their one-year anniversary which made the night all the more special for Vanessa. She loved anniversaries and birthdays (really any kind of event that celebrated something) and this was the perfect kind of party for her to celebrate her best friends’ birthday and her own relationship. She couldn’t wait. She had even asked Brooke if they could wear the same outfits as they did last year to properly recreate the night but Brooke had to firmly shut that idea down. 

Detox had even managed to reserve the same booth in the club for her and her friends and they were overwhelmed by the nostalgia. Some of the group were sitting round the table sipping champagne (Detox was of course at the bar ordering shots) and talking about last year. 

Nina was blushing remembering how drunk she had gotten. One year later and she was still extremely embarrassed about what had happened that night. Especially since everybody at the table was teasing her about it. After making fun of Nina for about ten minutes, the topic of conversation shifted to Brooke and Vanessa’s relationship, which delighted both of the girls. They both loved to talk about the other, their eyes lighting up in excitement anytime they got the opportunity to tell people stories about each other or quirky habits that the other one had. Detox had sworn that she had never seen Brooke as happy as she was when she was talking about Vanessa. She loved that both of her friends were so happy, even though she would never let them know that.

“At least you won’t have to leave and bring me home this year, Brooke!” Nina joked, earning a laugh from the rest of the table.

“No, she’ll be bringing me home this year instead.” Vanessa replied in a flirtatious tone and turned her head to the left where Brooke was sitting and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. The group laughed at Vanessa’s reply to Nina whereas Detox returned from the bar rolling her eyes at the couple. She was holding a tray of shots in her hand and Brooke was sure there was enough for everybody at the table to have at least four shots each. The only thing on Vanessa’s mind was excitement as she took her first shot, whereas the only thing Brooke could think about was how the hell Detox could afford this much alcohol. 

Thirty minutes later, all of the shots were gone and Vanessa was onto her second vodka and cranberry. It was clear that Vanessa was going to be Detox’s favourite person to party with that night because Vanessa was already extremely tipsy and there was no way of stopping her once she got in this state. Brooke knew this was going to end badly.

Three hours later, Vanessa and Detox were unable to stand properly. They had spent so much time on the dancefloor drinking whatever alcohol they could get their hands on and Brooke could do nothing but laugh at the state that her girlfriend was in. 

Brooke had to pick the shorter girl up and carry her to the uber that was waiting outside, praying that she wouldn’t vomit on their short ride home. Vanessa had said earlier that Brooke would end up bringing her home, but Brooke didn’t think this was the way that Vanessa had meant it.

\--- 

29th July 2019: 

Brooke was laying out on a towel, soaking up as much of the heat from the sun in Mexico that her pale skin would allow her to. It was her first ever vacation that she had taken with a girlfriend and she was so happy that girlfriend was Vanessa. There was no one else she would’ve wanted to experience this with. As she looked to the left, she lay eyes on her girlfriend sleeping on a sun lounger and in that moment, she knew. Tonight was going to be the night that she finally proposed to Vanessa. 

Brooke had booked a candlelit dinner on a private area of the beach with the hotel’s concierge and she knew Vanessa would love it. It was the perfect level of intimacy and romance that Vanessa would appreciate. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was how nervous Brooke was feeling.

Realistically, she knew Vanessa would say yes. There were no doubts about that in Brooke’s mind. But she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at how much this proposal meant to her. Vanessa was her everything. She knew that Vanessa was too good for her and the fact that she was willing to settle for someone like Brooke absolutely blew her mind. But she had to be thankful and keep reminding herself that Vanessa loved her and she knew how lucky she was to have Vanessa be in love with her.

They were sitting at their table drinking red wine and just chatting about random when things when suddenly, Brooke couldn’t hold it in anymore. She was planning to propose just after they had finished their dessert but she couldn’t keep it in. She had to do it now. Brooke took Vanessa’s hand in hers and Vanessa stopped talking and looked up at Brooke.

“You okay, B?” Vanessa asked. She was concerned…her girlfriend looked like she was about to explode from anxiety.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay…go ahead.” Vanessa replied, already preparing herself for the worst. 

“I…Vanessa, I love you so much. This past year has been the best year of my entire life and its all because of you. I don’t know how I lived 26 years without you in my life because now that I have you in my life, I know I never want you to not be a part of it. I know that you would do absolutely anything for me because that’s just the kind of person you are… you’re so kind, you’re caring, you’re everything that is good in this world and I don’t want to ever be without you. So, Nessa, will you please stay by my side forever? Will you marry me?” Brooke had taken the ring out of her pocket and was down on one knee so swiftly that Vanessa couldn’t believe it. She was sobbing after Brooke had only said one sentence. She was crying so much that she wasn’t able to get her words out, but eventually, she did.

“Yes, I’ll marry you!” Brooke cried as she wrapped her arms around Vanessa’s neck and they held each other close. They sobbed and said “I love you” about a hundred times before calming themselves down and feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness and excitement about what had just happened.

Brooke took the ring out of the box and placed it on Vanessa’s finger and she immediately wanted to cry about it again. 

“Jesus Christ, B…it’s so beautiful.” Vanessa whispered in awe, staring at the diamond on her finger. Brooke smiled and was so pleased that Vanessa liked the ring she had chosen. Vanessa reached up to Brooke’s neck and took the necklace holding her engagement ring off of her. She slid the ring off of it and Brooke was so excited to finally have it on her finger. That ring has provided her with so much comfort over the last few months and she knew it would be on her finger for the rest of her life. She couldn’t wait to wear it forever.

\--- 

24th September 2019:

Vanessa got home from work at 6pm to an empty apartment. She shouldn’t be surprised. Brooke had recently gotten a promotion and wasn’t at home as often as she used to be. She was always working late, working through lunch and sometimes even working the weekends. 

Vanessa was happy for her. She knew how much that promotion had meant to her fiancé, how long she had been waiting for it and how much she had deserved it. But to Vanessa, it felt like ever since they got engaged, she had barely seen Brooke. She felt like the last time she had Brooke’s full, undivided attention was when they were on vacation in Mexico when Brooke didn’t have to worry about work deadlines or impressing her bosses. Vanessa wished she could have that Brooke back. 

Brooke arrived home at nine thirty that night which was the earliest she had been home all week. Vanessa was sitting on the couch with Thackery watching a reality show that she was currently obsessed with. Brooke walked straight through to the kitchen without even saying hello to her girlfriend and Vanessa didn’t like that.

“Uh, hey? I still exist, I can’t even get a ‘hello’ from you?” Vanessa said angrily while Thackery broke her trust and ran over to Brooke to greet her. Brooke was in the process of heating up some leftovers in the microwave and scooped Thackery up as soon as he reached her.

“I’m so sorry, babe, hi! I haven’t eaten since breakfast, I’m sorry, I’m starved.” Brooke said as she gave Thackery a kiss on the forehead.

“Even the damn cat gets more attention from you than I do.” Vanessa replied grumpily as she turned the volume up on the show she was watching so she wouldn’t have to listen to Brooke.

“What was that?” Brooke asked, walking over to where Vanessa was sitting on the couch.

“Nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing, are you mad at me?,” Brooke arched her eyebrow and placed Thackery on his bed before sitting down beside Vanessa. Vanessa paused her show in annoyance and rolled her eyes at her girlfriend. 

“Well, considering this is probably the longest you’ve been at home in months, then yeah…I guess you could say I’m mad at you.” 

“Come on, V, you know that’s not true!” 

“It is! Ever since you got your promotion I never see you anymore! We’re supposed to be engaged and I feel like I haven’t seen you properly in months.” Vanessa said with a hurt tone to her voice, she had wanted to bring this up in a responsible and calm way but she already didn’t like the path that this conversation was heading down. 

“Really? You know that’s not my fault, Nessa! I can’t help it if I’m busier now!” Brooke could feel herself getting more defensive than she should be but she couldn’t help it. She had worked her ass of for that promotion and was extremely proud of herself for getting it. if Vanessa couldn’t see that, then that was on her.

“I know that, B…but it’s not normal for someone to work that much. Especially if they’ve got a fiancé. It’s been almost two months now since you proposed to me and we haven’t even discussed anything about the wedding.” A tear rolled down Vanessa’s face as she thought about her dream wedding that was just waiting for Brooke to start planning it with her. All she wanted was to live her life with Brooke by her side and this version of Brooke was starting to not be enough for her. 

“Look, I’ll take the weekend off, okay? We can spend some time together then and I’ll try be less busy. Is that okay?” Brooke asked and Vanessa could tell it was just a way of trying to make her calm down. But it was the best she was going to get now.

“Yeah, that’s great, B.” Vanessa replied as she turned back on the show she was watching. Brooke ate her food at table alone and went straight to bed. When Vanessa joined her in the bedroom, she could tell Brooke wasn’t asleep but decided not to say anything. As her head hit her pillow, she realised this was the first night she had gone to bed without hearing Brooke say “I love you” to her in a very long time. 

\--- 

29th October 2019:

Vanessa was late. She had promised to have dinner cooked for Brooke at 8pm that night because they were making more of an effort to try and spend their evenings together but Vanessa had a meeting that ran late which consequently, made Vanessa arrive home later than she would have liked.

She opened the door to their apartment and noticed that all of the lights weren’t turned on and Thackery’s food and water bowls were empty. Brooke wasn’t even home yet either. With an eye roll, Vanessa took off her coat and immediately went to go feed Thackery his dinner. 

As she was stirring the rice that she was having for dinner that night, Vanessa’s mind drifted back to the meeting she had earlier that day. Her boss had offered her a promotion where Vanessa would essentially be running an entire department of the fashion company she worked for. She’d be in charge of the designers whilst also approving and creating her own designs for the company’s collection. Essentially, it was her dream job. The only problem was, the job required her to move to Chicago. 

With a sigh, she dished up her dinner and began to eat it alone. She knew that Brooke had her dream job in New York and there wasn’t even a chance of her moving to Chicago with her. She wouldn’t even dream of asking her to do that. The job would start on the 1st of December, so if she said yes, she’d have to leave in less than a month’s time to get settled in before she started working.

She took out Brooke’s laptop and started looking at apartments online. She knew this was dangerous, she shouldn’t be even entertaining the idea, but she was curious. Rent was a lot cheaper in Chicago. Almost half of what she was paying in New York. She just didn’t know what to do. 

Thankfully, Vanessa had told her boss that she would need a couple of days to think about it. Realistically, she knew she would want to have a couple of days to think about it by herself and then a couple of days to psych herself up to talk to Brooke about it. 

Vanessa couldn’t imagine living in another city, let alone without Brooke. She loved their apartment. She loved New York. She loved Brooke. So why was there a part of her that was considering accepting the offer?

\--- 

31st of October 2019:

Vanessa was getting dressed up to go to her friend Yvie’s Halloween party. She had a super cute couple’s costume planned for her and Brooke to wear, but Brooke had cancelled on her at the last minute because of work. Yet again. She couldn’t believe that Brooke’s excuse for not going was solely because Halloween fell on a Thursday and Brooke didn’t want to be tired in work the next morning. Vanessa didn’t understand why she couldn’t even stop by for an hour or two but Brooke wouldn’t budge. When she said no, she meant it. 

It was around 8pm when Vanessa had finished putting the final touches on her makeup and had started to work on her hair. As she wrapped her hair around the curling wand, she heard the door of the apartment open and heard Brooke’s heels clacking against the floor as she walked her way to their bedroom. Vanessa was slightly shocked that Brooke was home so early. It was the earliest Brooke had been home in weeks. A small part of her hoped that the reason Brooke had decided to come home early was that she had a change of heart and decided to join her at the party after all. But wow, did Vanessa get that one wrong. 

“Why the hell were you looking at renting apartments in Chicago?” Brooke asked furiously. She had stormed into the bedroom so fast that Vanessa was a bit taken back by her speed. Vanessa let her hair fall from the curling wand and placed it on her desk so she didn’t burn herself. She was frozen in her seat; she had no idea what to say to Brooke. She knew she shouldn’t have kept this from Brooke and now Brooke was extremely angry. 

She took a deep breath before she started to explain. “Basically, I got offered a promotion but I’d have to move to Chicago for it and I was just looking online out of curiosity to see—” 

“And you didn’t even think to discuss this with me? We’re engaged, Vanessa! I feel like this is something we should’ve at least had a conversation about!,” Brooke yelled and Vanessa was speechless again. She knew something like this would’ve happened but she didn’t even bother to prevent it from happening. She just accepted that there would be an argument. “So what are you thinking of doing?” Brooke asked quietly and timidly, as if she was afraid of what Vanessa’s response was going to be.

“I think…I think I might take it.” Vanessa couldn’t even look Brooke in the eyes, she just stared at the floor.

“I can’t believe this. I cannot fucking believe this.” Brooke grabbed her coat and stormed out of the apartment without even looking back at Vanessa. All she could hear was the door slam and then Thackery came running into the bedroom to investigate what had happened. Vanessa picked him up and cuddled him close to her as she cried a little bit. She knew this was bad.

After Vanessa finished crying, she looked at the bed behind her and noticed that Brooke had left her phone on the bed. She tried to be mad at Brooke for not taking her phone with her when she was going out alone. Did she not know how dangerous that was? What if something happened? Now all Vanessa could do was worry.

She sent a quick text to Yvie, apologising that she couldn’t make it to the party after all. She climbed into bed with Brooke’s phone in her hands and decided that she wasn’t going to get any sleep at all that night so she might as well wait up for Brooke to come home. Then they could talk. 

\--- 

2nd of November 2019:

Two full days had passed and Vanessa still hadn’t heard from Brooke since she had stormed out on Halloween. The only form of contact she had received from her fiancé was a text from Nina to say that Brooke had decided to stay at her place for a while. Not even a phone call. 

Vanessa was so angry and the only thing that had happened from Brooke being gone was the fact that it allowed Vanessa’s anger to grow and grow. Not only had she just left without saying where she was going, she hadn’t even been happy for Vanessa about her promotion. She knew she shouldn’t have kept it a secret from Brooke, that was wrong. But surely Brooke could’ve been at least a tiny bit happy for her? She knew if the roles were reversed, she would’ve been proud of Brooke, regardless of the situation. 

It was in that moment that Vanessa decided that she had had enough of waiting around for Brooke to come home. She was going to go to Nina’s house and drag Brooke back to their apartment if she had to. She quickly threw on some jeans and a hoodie and just as she was putting her boots on, the door opened.

It was Brooke. 

“Hi…” She said as she walked sheepishly over to the couch and sat down. Thackery immediately ran over to her and Brooke began to stroke his head gently. Vanessa stared at her in disbelief as she finally felt some sort of relief that Brooke had returned home safely.

“I think we need to have a talk, B…” Vanessa said softly and Brooke nodded her head in agreement. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Vanessa sat down in the armchair opposite where Brooke was sitting and there was an awkward silence in the room until Vanessa began to speak. 

“Listen, Brooke, I’m so sorry for not telling you about it and I’m sorry you had to find out because I did it on your laptop but—”

“I think you should go to Chicago.” Vanessa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Out of all the things she thought Brooke might say, that response didn’t even come into her mind.

“You do?,” Vanessa asked and Brooke nodded her head slowly while avoiding eye contact with Vanessa. “Okay, well, long distance will be hard but we can talk on the phone all the time and we can fly out to visit each other every few weekends…”

“No, babe, that’s not what I mean,” Brooke said with a voice full of sadness. Vanessa looked at her in confusion so Brooke decided to just continue speaking. “I don’t want to be the one to hold you back, Ness. You should go to Chicago and…we should break up.” Brooke said the last part so quietly that she wasn’t sure if Vanessa had even heard her but, judging by the look on her face, Vanessa had heard. 

She was in shock. So much shock. She couldn’t believe Brooke was trying to break up with her right now…over a stupid job offer.

“I can find a smaller apartment here fast enough; I’ll be out of your way so you can pack up all your stuff for your move.” Brooke spoke like she was closing a business deal and not like she was breaking off an engagement and that really hurt Vanessa.

“Why are you doing this, Brooke?” Vanessa said with tears in her eyes and if Vanessa looked very closely, she could see that Brooke was holding back tears too. 

“Because I think it’s what right in this situation.” Brooke replied and Vanessa held her breath to stop herself from exploding in anger.

“Don’t I get a say in this?,” Vanessa asked loudly and Brooke flinched at how loud her voice was. Brooke didn’t respond to Vanessa’s question, which only made Vanessa’s anger grow. “If long distance is the issue here, I can turn down the job, Brooke. It’s not worth ending our whole fucking relationship because of this!”

“No.” Brooke stated firmly as she wiped a tear away from her eyes.

“No?” Vanessa questioned, standing up and putting her hand on her hip. 

“I can’t be the reason you turn down your dream job,” Brooke got up from the couch and stood right in front of Vanessa. “If we don’t break up, this relationship is going to turn toxic so quickly and we’re going to end up hating each other.” 

“So this is your final decision?” Vanessa asked. On the outside, she looked like she didn’t give a shit what happened but on the inside, she was begging Brooke to change her mind.

“Yeah…it is.” 

“Well then, I guess you were right when you said that we’d start to hate each other. Because I really hate you for doing this to me.” Vanessa grabbed her jacket and her bag and stormed out of the apartment in tears. All Brooke wanted to do was go after her but she knew she shouldn’t. They weren’t together anymore.

\---

11th of November 2019: 

Vanessa’s sister Alexis had agreed to come to the apartment with Vanessa to pack up all of her stuff before she left New York. It wasn’t a big apartment and Vanessa didn’t have that much stuff; she knew she could easily pack it all up in a day with no help. But being in that apartment alone would break her and she would spend the entire day crying. That’s why she needed her sister there to take her mind off of it and force her to get it all done and packed up.

Brooke was at work, thank God, so Vanessa didn’t have to worry about seeing her again. She didn’t know what she would do if that happened.

The majority of Brooke’s stuff was gone when Vanessa had arrived, apart from a few boxes that Brooke said she would pick up later when Vanessa was gone. It made Vanessa feel weird seeing their apartment so empty. She always pictured that when they moved out of the apartment, it would be to a house where they would spend the rest of their lives. She never imagined it would end like this.

Brooke had sent Vanessa a text saying that since Thackery was a gift to Vanessa, she should be the one to keep him. Of course, Vanessa was absolutely overjoyed that she didn’t have to lose Thackery too, he was like her baby. But she couldn’t help but feel angry that Brooke had just given him up so willingly. That she had just given Vanessa up so willingly. 

As Vanessa finished packing up the last box of kitchen utensils, she had tears in her eyes. This was really it. She had packed her entire life up in just a few hours. 18 months of memories in their home vanished before her eyes. 

“Are you sure you’re making the right decision here, Vanjie?” Alexis asked, rubbing her younger sisters back comfortingly while she cried.

“No…but it’s what Brooke Lynn wants and I can’t force her to be in a relationship with me. So it’s what’s happening.” After crying on the floor for a further thirty minutes, Vanessa regained herself and stood up. They began bringing the boxes downstairs in the elevator and once Alexis had taken the last box out of the apartment, Vanessa knew there was one thing she had to leave behind. 

She took her engagement ring out of her pocket and left it on Brooke’s nightstand. Maybe she could return it and get her money back. Vanessa didn’t care what she did with it. As long as she didn’t have to look at it anymore, she was happy. As she closed the door to the apartment behind her with Thackery in her arms, she didn’t know what to expect from her new life in Chicago. She just hoped that it wouldn’t leave her as heartbroken as New York had.

\--- 

22nd of December 2019: 

The law firm that Brooke Lynn worked at had decided to close for a full two weeks during the Christmas period to allow their employees to have a well-deserved rest. To the majority of her colleagues, this had been amazing news. They got to spend so much time with their families over the holiday period and didn’t have to think about work until the new year. But for Brooke, this couldn’t have come at a worse time. 

She was having to spend an entire day alone for the first time since Vanessa had moved to Chicago.

She had thrown herself into her work as soon as she had broken up with Vanessa, even more so than before the break up. She worked from 8am until 10 o’clock at night. She worked weekends and even took on more cases than she usually would just to ensure that she always had something to do. She didn’t want even a second to be alone with her thoughts because if she had that time, she wouldn’t recover from it. 

Working pretty much all the time had its rewards: she had received yet another pay increase as well as a lot of recognition from the owners of the company. But none of that made her happy. She just felt empty. Empty like the apartment she was currently sitting in.

She had moved in at the beginning of December and she still hadn’t gotten around to unpacking everything, she had made herself that busy. As she looked around the tiny apartment, she felt awful. For the first time that month, she allowed herself to feel. All she wanted was Vanessa. But she knew she couldn’t have her.

She always knew that Vanessa was too good for her. The idea that Vanessa would be willing to give up her dream job for Brooke didn’t sit right with her. She just knew that Vanessa would end up resenting her for it down the line…and she couldn’t have that. She would rather let Vanessa go now and let her enjoy her life to the fullest instead of staying with her and getting married and then have Vanessa only realise what a mistake she had made after a couple of years had gone by. Vanessa didn’t deserve that. It was better this way. It had to be. 

She lay down on the couch with a glass of Pinot Grigio in her hand and she knew that this was exactly how she would be spending the entire holiday season. Alone and miserable, on her couch with a glass of wine.

She took out her phone and went to the photo app. She knew this was a mistake but she couldn’t stop herself. There were pictures of their first date, of when they got Thackery, of when they got engaged. As Brooke sobbed, she locked her phone and downed the wine. It was then that she realised she had made the worst mistake of her entire life.

\--- 

25th of December 2020: 

Vanessa lit her Christmas scented candle in her new apartment and snuggled up on the couch under a warm, fuzzy blanket. She was trying to make the atmosphere around her seem very festive to hide the fact that she was miserable spending Christmas by herself. 

Her mom had planned on coming to stay with her but her grandmother in Puerto Rico was super sick and Vanessa knew that her mom wouldn’t forgive herself if something happened to her grandma and she wasn’t there for it. She understood why she was alone. But just because she understood it did not mean she was okay with it. 

She never imagined that she would ever have to spend Christmas by herself. She had no gifts to give to anyone and she certainly hadn’t received any. She hadn’t even made any friends at her new job yet. She was completely by herself. 

Work was a lot more difficult than she thought it would be. There were a lot of new things she had to get used to and she definitely hadn’t settled in yet. She missed Brooke. She missed the familiarity of New York City. She missed knowing which restaurants were really good and which ones she should avoid. She missed having last minute plans and hanging out with her friends at a moments notice. She even just missed watching movies with Brooke in their apartment with Thackery cuddled up in between them. 

To make matters worse, Thackery had not adapted to the new apartment at all. He simply had not gotten used to being in a new place. Vanessa couldn’t blame him, neither had she. He spent most of his time trying to escape from the apartment and when he wasn’t doing that, he was angrily meowing at the door. Vanessa had to give him attention at every second and if she stopped, he would have a meltdown. Vanessa knew the feeling.

She came to the conclusion that Thackery missed his other mom. She sat down on the kitchen floor with a bottle of tequila and Thackery by her side.

“I know, baby, I miss her too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr: kikimateohytes


	3. 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke deals with the aftermath of the breakup and Vanessa has to move back to New York unexpectedly.
> 
> Will they reconnect or will they avoid each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just spend all afternoon rushing to finish this so it would be up on Christmas Eve? Yes I did lmao.
> 
> I loved writing this fic but damn I am happy for it to be finished. I hope that you guys like the ending! I also hope that you have a wonderful Christmas (if you celebrate it) and that 2021 is an amazing year for you. If it's even the tiniest bit better than 2020 I will take it as a win lol
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic, I had planned to make it super Christmassy but that didn't really go to plan so hopefully you got even the tiniest bit of festive vibes from it lmao and thank you so much for reading!

14th of January 2020

When Brooke was feeling upset, she usually turned to two things for comfort: her friends and food. That’s why as soon as Nina had suggested getting brunch that morning, Brooke jumped at the idea and was ready to have an afternoon of fun and laughter with her friends. It was just the kind of distraction that she was looking for and desperately needed.

Although as soon as she got there, she realised that she was not going to get what she wanted. The whole situation was just awkward. They were dancing around the topic of Vanessa and no one wanted to be the first one to bring her up. Brooke hadn’t seen Nina and Detox since before the breakup because of how much she had thrown herself into her work and now she was regretting saying yes to Nina’s invite.

Nina and Detox had no idea what to say to Brooke. Obviously they were both still friends with Vanessa and had kept in contact with her over the last month. They wanted to be there for Brooke but they didn’t know how they could do that or even how she was feeling since she refused to even talk about it.

Brooke could feel herself growing more and more frustrated with the entire situation. She had thought she was going to get a morning of distraction where she could stop thinking about Vanessa for a couple of hours. But no. All she was able to do in that restaurant was think about Vanessa. Eventually, Nina broke the silence. 

“Maybe you should just text her, Brooke. Maybe if you two could stay friends then it wouldn’t have to be such of an uncomfortable situation for you both.” Nina said sympathetically and deep down, Brooke knew she was right. She should text Vanessa. Make sure she was okay…see how she was getting on in Chicago. But there was no point, Vanessa wouldn’t reply anyway. Brooke was confident that she wouldn’t reply. After all, she did tell Brooke that she hated her.

“Nina, shut the hell up. That’s the worst advice ever and you know it,” Detox stated before looking Brooke straight in her eyes. “You need to get your ass on a plane to Chicago and tell Vanessa how much you fucked up and that you made a mistake. What’s the point in sitting here miserable when you could go and get her back?” Brooke immediately rolled her eyes at her friend’s comment. Detox had no idea what was going on. Why they actually broke up. Brooke presumed she had only heard what Vanessa had told her. 

“Detox, I just wanted one fucking day where I could not have to think about this, can we please just talk about something else?” Brooke tried to plead with Detox but she was having none of it. 

“No, Brooke. I’m not just gonna sit here and watch you ruin your life! It’s stupid and it’s embarrassing!” Detox replied and Brooke had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down. 

“If you don’t stop fucking talking about her, I’m gonna leave.” 

“Come on, Detox, just leave it for now, yeah?” Nina said calmly, trying to mediate the situation. 

“No, Nina! Don’t act like you weren’t saying this was all a mistake too! You should be backing me up here.” With that, Brooke had heard enough. She took some cash out of her wallet and placed it on the table before storming out of the restaurant. All she had wanted was some pancakes, a nice conversation with her friends and maybe a few cocktails. But no. It seemed like Brooke couldn’t have anything she wanted these days…and she was just going to have to learn to live with that. 

\--- 

20th of February 2020

Vanessa was out in a club for the first time in almost three months. She was out with friends which was such a relief because she was starting to think she wouldn’t make any. Kameron and Aquaria were two girls who worked in the Chicago office alongside her. They were told to work on the same project together and the three of them hit it off immediately which made Vanessa very happy.

As Vanessa placed an order for another cocktail, she felt someone tap on her shoulder. As she turned around, she saw a beautiful girl with long black hair and gorgeous blue eyes. Any other time, Vanessa would have hit on her immediately. But she couldn’t right now. Not after everything that had happened with Brooke. 

The girl asked Vanessa to dance with her and as much as Vanessa wished she could say yes, she had to say no. Kameron and Aquaria shared a confused look between them. 

“Why the hell did you say no, Vanjie? She’s fucking stunning!” Kameron exclaimed and Aquaria nodded in agreement. Vanessa hadn’t told the girls anything about Brooke yet but she figured being drunk in a club was the perfect place to have that kind of conversation with her new friends.

“I guess I have this ex back in New York that I’m not really over yet,” Vanessa began with that which immediately interested the two girls so Vanessa ended up telling them the entire story: how they met, how they got engaged and how they broke up. When Vanessa finished her story, Aquaria had a mischievous look on her face. “What are you thinking, Aqua?” Vanessa was both intrigued and scared about what made her friend grin like that. 

“Have you never wanted to make her jealous?” Aquaria asked with her eyebrow raised slightly. Vanessa shrugged and began to think about it. Did she want to make Brooke jealous? She did want to hurt her slightly just so she could see how much it hurt when she dumped her. But that would take a lot of effort and energy that she didn’t have. She came to Chicago to focus on her job, not to keep dragging up her past relationship.

“I mean I guess I would? But I dunno, I wouldn’t even know how do it. I’m here and she’s all the way in New York.” Vanessa explained, hoping that the topic of conversation would move on to something else but knowing Aquaria, she had a plan up her sleeve.

“Easy. Kameron’s your type, right?,” Aquaria asked while Vanessa blushed feeling slightly embarrassed. She guessed Kameron was kind of her type. She was tall, had blonde hair and was kind of quiet until you got to know her. She also had an awesome resting bitch face. Vanessa nodded and Kameron seemed happy to hear it. “I’ll take a few pictures of you two, you pose and make it look like you’re on a date or that you’re all loved up and post it to your Instagram. Then Brooke won’t be able to take her mind off of you for days.” Aquaria explained it all like it was easy and not a big deal but Vanessa felt like she was about to commit a crime. Needless to say, she said yes to Aquaria’s crazy idea and so did Kameron, so they began taking pictures.

Vanessa gave Aquaria her phone to take the pictures on and Aquaria turned into a full on photographer. She was telling them how to pose, where to look, where to put their hands. After a few minutes, they got the perfect shot: Kameron had her hands wrapped around Vanessa’s waist and was kissing her cheek while Vanessa grinned into the camera. 

As soon as it was posted, Vanessa put her phone back down on the table and continued talking to her friends. Within two minutes, curiosity consumed her and she had to check if Brooke had seen it. Funnily enough, there were only a handful of people who had seen it, but Brooke was one of them. Vanessa wondered if she still had her notifications turned on for Vanessa’s posts. That would explain how she had seen it so fast. 

Vanessa smiled as soon as she saw that Brooke had seen the post but more than anything, she wished she could’ve seen Brooke’s reaction to it. To Vanessa, the fact that Brooke had seen it so quickly meant that maybe Brooke still cared about her. Or maybe she had just happened to be on Instagram when Vanessa uploaded it. Either way, she knew that Brooke wasn’t in love with her anymore, but the fact that Brooke had viewed it so quickly made her happier than she cared to admit. 

\--- 

12th March 2020

It’s crazy how things can change in a year. Last year, Detox’s birthday had been an amazing night of celebration for everyone involved. This year, Brooke had turned back into her past self: not wanting to go to her best friend’s party at all. 

Thankfully, Detox had chosen a different club to go to this year so Brooke wouldn’t have to be reminded of meeting Vanessa for the first time. But let’s be honest, it had been on her mind all day and Brooke felt heartbroken about what this day in particular signified for her. She was trying her best to push it to the back of her mind and actually at least appear that she was paying attention to what was going on around her.

Brooke had finished a bottle of wine while she got ready so she was already kind of drunk when she turned up to the club. She wished that Vanessa would come to the party, after all, she was one of Detox’s closest friends. But Detox had already told everyone that Vanessa was too busy with work to fly back for it, much to everyone’s disappointment. Seemed like everyone loved and missed Vanessa. 

After about forty-five minutes of everyone chatting and joking around with one another, a round of shots was brought to the table. Everyone was confused because no one had remembered ordering them but the waitress just pointed to a note on the tray. It had a phone number on it and said: For the hot blonde in the red dress, enjoy. Brooke didn’t want to deal with this right now. She just waved to the girl and said thanks awkwardly and took the shot. 

“You should go talk to her, Brooke! Say thank you!” Nina suggested and the others agreed.

“I don’t really want to, Nina.” Brooke mumbled and Detox rolled her eyes.

“Why the hell not? She’s so hot!” Detox argued and Brooke could feel all the alcohol hit her at once. She hadn’t been this drunk in a long time. 

“Because she’s not Vanessa, why would I waste my time on someone that isn’t Vanessa?” Brooke knew she was saying things she wouldn’t say if she was sober. But right now, she didn’t care. She was willing to talk to anyone who would listen. 

“Then why won’t you go fucking talk to her? I swear to God, Brooke, I’ve said this a thousand fucking times, just go and talk to her!” Detox yelled and Brooke was starting to get emotional. Her drunken mind didn’t like people yelling at her. 

“I can’t!” Brooke responded whilst trying not to appear sad but miserably failing.

“Why not?” Detox asked and Brooke looked at her like she was stupid and was missing something really obvious. 

“She’s clearly moved on, D! Haven’t you seen her Instagram story with that girl?” Brooke said while she grabbed another glass of champagne from the table and started to drink it quickly. Detox looked at Nina and Nina just giggled, the two of them clearly knowing something that Brooke didn’t. 

“Shut the fuck up, Brooke Lynn! She’s not dating anyone, that’s her new work friend who is straight, you absolute idiot!” Nina and Detox laughed and Brooke couldn’t help but smile. That picture had been burned into her brain for the last month and she was so happy that Vanessa was still single. She had no right to be happy about it, but she was. She just couldn’t help herself.

\--- 

24th May 2020

Vanessa had been in her office for the last four hours finalising a new design for her company’s upcoming collection. She had been working on these designs with her team for the last six months and she was so proud of them, she really loved what she was doing. It was nice to be able to throw herself into her work, considering everything that had happened in New York. It was just an added bonus that she absolutely loved what she did. She was so in the zone that she didn’t even realise that her boss’s assistant knocked on the door and entered her office. 

“Hey Vanessa, sorry to interrupt but Bianca wants to see you in her office. She said it’s important.” The assistant left the room immediately after saying that which made Vanessa’s heart rate increase. She had been working so hard recently. Her designs were amazing, everyone on her team was contributing to the best of their ability and she was sticking to the timeline she was given. What could possibly be the problem? She put down her pencil and left the office, walking to her boss’s office with a pit in her stomach. 

“Hey Bianca,” she said as she knocked and opened the door to Bianca’s office. “What’s going on, is everything okay?” Bianca pointed at the chair opposite her own and Vanessa immediately took a seat and began to mentally prepare herself for the worst.

“Everything’s perfect, Vanessa. Actually, I’m really happy with the work that you’ve been doing recently.” Vanessa was waiting for the punchline after Bianca finished speaking. Usually, Bianca didn’t give compliments and when she did, you could almost guarantee that there would be about ten insults to follow after.

“Thank you, Bianca…” Vanessa responded and Bianca laughed at her confusion.

“The reason I called you in here is because I think that you can handle more responsibility within this job. I was talking to corporate and they were thinking that you should move back to the New York office to be the head of design there,” Vanessa was stunned. She had just gotten promoted to the top level of her company’s New York branch. If she had this job, she would be on the same level as Bianca. She would be the boss of everyone, including the people she used to work with. She would get to be back in her favourite city that she had missed so much…the same city as Brooke. 

Vanessa’s mind was immediately made up the moment Bianca offered her the job. Chicago just hadn’t been the right fit for Vanessa. She missed her friends and she just missed the city in general. But she couldn’t help but notice the irony of having to move back to New York after only staying in Chicago for six months, considering it’s the entire reason that caused her relationship with Brooke to end. She couldn’t help feel a bit upset about how this had all happened. But in that moment, all she wanted to focus on was the fact that she was finally getting to go back home. Back to where she belonged.

\--- 

12th of June 2020

Vanessa was finally back in her happy place. She was pleased to find out that New York hadn’t changed at all since she had been gone. All of her favourite restaurants were still there, the baristas in her favourite coffee place right by the office remembered her name and she was finally back in the same city as her sister and her friends. 

Her new apartment wasn’t the best but she told herself she would find a new one once she settled back in to her work. It was, however, pretty close to where Detox lived which meant that they could hang out more outside of working hours, even though she was so happy to be working with her again.

She had gotten back to New York last week after wrapping everything up in Chicago and this was her first time hanging out with Detox outside of the workplace. They were going to get lunch in one of Vanessa’s favourite cafes and while she was excited, she was also full of dread as she knew that Brooke would undoubtedly be a topic of conversation. The only person she had spoken to about Brooke Lynn recently were Kameron, Aquaria and her mom and they were all on her side, even though there weren’t really any sides to take. She was interested to see how talking to Detox about it would be considering Brooke was one of her best friends. 

She had to meet Detox in an hour which left Vanessa with a bit of time to do whatever she wanted. She decided to go to her favourite farmers market and stock up on some fruit and vegetables for the week ahead considering she probably wouldn’t have time during the week when she was working. She had been living off of takeout food and leftovers and knew she had to change that. 

As she paid for some vegetables, she heard a familiar voice at the stall behind her asking for some strawberries. She turned around and to her surprise, it was Brooke Lynn…standing right in front of her. Vanessa didn’t know what to do. She was frozen. Should she go up to her and say hi? Should she walk away and pretend she never saw her? She couldn’t stop staring at her. Before she had a chance to make a decision, Brooke turned around and they immediately locked eyes. Brooke was also frozen in her spot and Vanessa decided to just bite the bullet and say hi to her ex-girlfriend. 

“Hey Brooke!” Vanessa said awkwardly, not knowing if they should hug or not. She really didn’t know what the protocol was for accidentally running into your ex.

“Hey…what are you doing back in New York?” Brooke asked in what Vanessa could only describe as a nervous tone. Clearly their interaction was affecting Brooke as much as it was affecting Vanessa.

“I got another promotion so I had to move back…”

“Wow, congratulations V! That’s amazing!” Brooke said genuinely and Vanessa could feel her heart fluttering from Brooke’s compliment. They decided to catch up for a bit and walked around the market aimlessly. They talked about Chicago, their families, Thackery and Brooke’s job. It was then that Vanessa found herself thinking about unanswered questions and she was unable to hold back.

“Would you have broken up with me if I hadn’t been offered that job in Chicago?” Vanessa asked quietly and Brooke looked shocked that Vanessa had asked her that. She also looked extremely unprepared. 

“I’m not sure.” Brooke replied slowly, unsure as to what direction the conversation was heading in.

“How long had you been wanting to break up with me for?” Vanessa knew that she didn’t want to know the answers to the questions she was asking but damn, it felt good to ask. It felt like a weight was being lifted off of her shoulders at the thought of finally getting some answers from Brooke Lynn. 

“I never wanted to.” Brooke admitted quietly and Vanessa could feel her blood starting to boil. 

“What do you mean you never wanted to? Then why did you do it?” 

“I had to, V, you don’t understand.” Brooke looked like she was trying not to cry and Vanessa really wanted to feel bad for her but at that moment, she didn’t care. 

“Yeah of course I don’t understand! How can I understand something if you don’t fucking explain it to me?” Vanessa stopped in her tracks and had her hand on her hip, demanding an answer from the blonde. But Brooke couldn’t handle seeing Vanessa and having her be angry like this. She had to get out of there. She was so overwhelmed.

“I’m so sorry Vanessa, I can’t do this right now.” Brooke walked out of that market with such a fast pace that Vanessa knew there was no way she would be able to catch up with her. All she knew was that Detox was going to get a big long rant about Brooke Lynn as soon as they sat down in that cafe. 

\--- 

14th of July 2020

Nina had just bought a new house around the same time as her birthday so she decided to put two celebrations into one and have a housewarming/birthday party. Both Brooke and Vanessa were of course invited, making both of the girls slightly nervous considering how their last interaction had ended. 

When Vanessa arrived, Brooke was talking to Detox in the kitchen. To make sure things weren’t awkward, Vanessa said hi to both of them and used going to find Nina as an excuse to make a swift exit. It technically wasn’t a lie; she did have a gift to give to Nina after all. She found Nina in the living room with a bunch of her colleagues and they started talking as soon as Nina saw her.

“Are you gonna be okay, honey?” Nina’s maternal side was showing and Vanessa loved that about her.

“Yeah of course, I’ll be fine!” Vanessa tried to reassure her friend but Nina didn’t seem to be buying it. 

“Okay but I’m here to talk if you’re not, okay? Just come and find me.” 

“Shut the hell up, Nina, it’s your birthday! You don’t need to be worryin’ about me tonight!” Thankfully, Detox came over to them with two glasses of champagne and ended the awkward conversation that they were having.

There were a ton of people from Nina’s office there and Vanessa decided she might as well introduce herself to some of them so she had people to talk to who weren’t Brooke Lynn. She was just sitting around talking to a group of five people, joking around about Nina and how nice she was while they kept giving her glasses of wine and champagne and whatever else was in the house. Vanessa hadn’t even got off the couch in the last hour but had somehow finished six different drinks and it was definitely hitting her now. 

As she looked out into the garden, she could see Brooke sitting alone on the garden furniture. She could tell that Brooke Lynn was quite tipsy herself from the way that she was swaying slightly and had taken her heels off. 

Vanessa’s drunken mind decided that it was the perfect time for her to go and talk to Brooke. She missed her so she might as well go talk to her, right? She plopped down on the sofa beside Brooke and they started talking as if nothing had ever happened between them. They were just talking like old friends. Vanessa swore that she hadn’t seen Brooke so carefree in such a long time, probably not since they got home from Mexico. It made her really happy to see Brooke relaxed for once. 

Vanessa was absentmindedly stroking her ring finger where the engagement ring used to be. She had made that a habit when they were together: anytime she felt happy or loved, she would touch her engagement ring, kind of like a reminder that Brooke was going to be with her forever and how happy that made her. She started to feel strongly overwhelmed about her love for Brooke all at once and she longed for nothing more than having Brooke back in her life. 

She looked at Brooke and was in awe of how beautiful she looked. She had cut her hair slightly since the last time she saw her. It wasn’t short, just mid length, but it really suited her. She was wearing a nude lip gloss instead of her usual matte red lipstick and overall, she just looked really good and put together. Vanessa had to tell her.

“You look really pretty tonight, B.” Vanessa said shyly and Brooke’s eyes widened in response to the compliment. She recovered quickly enough to reply to Vanessa.

“You always look beautiful, V. Every minute of every day.” Vanessa was grinning so much at this point that she was grateful for Detox interrupting them in case she accidentally said something about how much she loved Brooke in that moment. She would definitely regret that in the morning. 

“Sorry to interrupt but I just found the hottest guy and I really wanna go back to his place, are you cool to make your own way home, B?” Detox asked, practically begging Brooke to say that it was okay for her to leave. 

“I guess I should probably go too then, I do live a lot further away than you guys.” Brooke said sadly and Vanessa couldn’t bear this being the end of their conversation and their time together. She had to do something. 

“You can stay in my apartment tonight, I don’t mind.” Vanessa offered, not thinking before she spoke, as usual. 

“Really?” Brooke asked in shock and Vanessa couldn’t tell by Brooke’s reaction if she had fucked it up or not. 

“That’s a fantastic idea, Vanessa! You’re so smart, thank you so much!” Detox said and immediately walked away, taking the hand of some random guy and leaving the party altogether. 

“I mean if you don’t want to it’s completely fine, I just thought it might be easier for you—” 

“No, it’s perfect. It’s really nice of you to offer, thanks Ness.” Vanessa breathed a sigh of relief that Brooke was okay with it and internally screamed that Brooke had called her ‘Ness’. She hadn’t heard that nickname in so long and she didn’t realise how much she had missed hearing it until now. 

They spent the rest of the night outside talking and at around three in the morning, Nina started to kick people out so that she could go to bed. They were silent in the uber back to Vanessa’s apartment and when she opened the door, Thackery almost died of excitement as soon as he laid eyes on Brooke. 

Brooke immediately picked Thackery up and cuddled him close to her and she started to cry. It reminded Vanessa of how she had reacted when Brooke had first surprised Vanessa with the cat, she was so overjoyed and fell in love with him so quickly. Vanessa couldn’t even dream of having to be away from him for as long as Brooke had. 

After playing with Thackery for a while, Brooke started to yawn and Vanessa started to think about their sleeping situation. She apologised to Brooke because her guest room was currently occupied with unopened boxes so it wasn’t able to be slept in. Vanessa decided she would take the couch even though it was probably the most uncomfortable couch ever made.

“No, come on Vanessa, I’ll take the couch. It’s your bed, you deserve to sleep in it.” Brooke argued and Vanessa knew that realistically, neither one of them was going to be sleeping on the couch. Better to just admit it now and get that awkward bit of the night over with.

“We can just share my bed, B. it’s a lot comfier than that awful excuse for a couch, plus Thackery will be so happy to cuddle into you all night.” Vanessa added that little bit in about Thackery for good measure but in reality, Vanessa would love to be the one who could cuddle up with Brooke. Brooke agreed with Vanessa’s logic (of course she did) and they brought Thackery into Vanessa’s bedroom and laid down on the bed. Within minutes, Vanessa was asleep. Brooke was left watching her and Thackery, probably the two things she loved most in the world, while they slept. As she drifted off into a deep sleep, she realised she hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time.

15th of July 2020

Vanessa woke up with Thackery lying on her legs and with Brooke’s arm around her waist, snuggled up into her from behind. For a moment, she genuinely forgot that they had broken up. Waking up like this felt totally normal to her and she really didn’t want it to end. She figured there was no harm in pretending to still be sleeping so that the cuddles could last for a longer time. No one would ever know.

After almost an hour, Brooke woke up and felt so peaceful. She woke Vanessa up (which didn’t take long considering she was completely faking it) and they said good morning to each other. Somehow, it wasn’t an awkward situation for them. Brooke figured waking up in your ex-girlfriend’s bed all cuddled up to her should be a bit of a weird experience, but it felt completely normal. 

“I haven’t slept that well in a really long time.” Brooke said with a raspy voice, still not fully awake yet. She hadn’t attempted to move away from Vanessa, her arm was still wrapped around her and Vanessa was internally praying that she didn’t move it. 

“Me too,” Vanessa said with a yawn and Thackery ran up the middle of the bed to push himself in between his two moms. “You know I really missed you, B.” 

“I missed you two Ness…so much,” Brooke said in almost a whispering voice and began stroking Thackery. “We really should hang out more now that you’re back in the city, at least try and be friends, you know?” Vanessa nodded in agreement and they spent another thirty minutes just talking and playing with the cat. They made plans to get coffee in a couple days in a café they used to go to all the time and they were both really looking forward to it. After a while, Brooke decided that she had to get up.

“I should probably go to work.” She announced and Vanessa forgot all about that. It was already ten o’clock in the morning, Brooke should’ve been there almost two hours ago.

“Damn, aren’t you already super late?” Vanessa asked and Brooke nodded as she grabbed her belongings. 

“Yeah…but it was worth it.” Brooke smiled to which Vanessa grinned in response. Brooke was actually prioritising Vanessa over her work and they weren’t even together. Brooke kissed Vanessa on the forehead and gave Thackery one last cuddle before she left and Vanessa swore to herself that she would be back together with the love of her life before the year ended.

\--- 

29th August 2020

One month later, Brooke and Vanessa were back to being how they always used to be: inseparable. They weren’t in a relationship or anything (even though Vanessa had been manifesting it on a daily basis) but they had been hanging out multiple times during the week. They were either getting coffee, going to the movies or just hanging out in each other’s apartment…just friendly things. But recently, things had gotten to be more flirtatious between them.

Vanessa would catch herself flirting with Brooke out of habit. She slipped back into how she used to act as Brooke’s girlfriend whenever she was around her. Thankfully, Brooke always reciprocated it so it wasn’t one-sided. Vanessa also noticed that Brooke had been complimenting her a lot more recently. She was always saying that she liked Vanessa’s hair that day even when it was the same as how she always did it. Or that she liked her outfit when Vanessa was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She also talked about things that Vanessa loved a lot, like she would always pick movies to watch that she knew were some of Vanessa’s favourites and she would pick all of Vanessa’s favourite restaurants and cafes to go to. Vanessa figured that must be a sign that Brooke was still feeling the same way about her. Brooke must still want to be with her.

Brooke was coming over to Vanessa’s apartment that evening to hang out. They were probably just going to order Chinese food and watch a movie. Vanessa wanted to ask Brooke out tonight but she didn’t know how to do it. How do you ask your ex out on a date? She felt so unprepared. Brooke showed up exactly on time and as soon as they sat down on the couch, Brooke had something she wanted to say.

“Look, if I’m picking things up wrong and you’re not feeling the same way then I’m so sorry for making this awkward, but…I really wanna take you out.” Brooke said all at once and at first, Vanessa didn’t think she heard her correctly.

“What…like on a date?” Vanessa asked which made Brooke laugh in response.

“Yeah…like on a date.” Vanessa immediately accepted and Brooke told her to be free on Saturday night so she could take her out. Vanessa was so excited. She was already planning outfits in her mind, thinking about what colours are Brooke’s favourite and what outfits she had worn in the past that Brooke had loved.

They spent that evening watching The Notebook (another one of Vanessa’s favourites that Brooke suggested) and Vanessa ended up falling asleep in Brooke’s arms. Brooke didn’t have the heart to wake her up so she ended up staying the night, yet again. 

\--- 

15th September 2020

Brooke didn’t know how this had happened but somehow she had managed to go on six dates with Vanessa in the space of two weeks. They didn’t even go out that much when they were in a relationship. They’ve been for dinner twice, Brooke planned a picnic in the park for them, they’ve had a couple of movie nights and the most recent one was when Brooke asked Vanessa to come along to a work party as her date. It was weird for Brooke not being able to introduce Vanessa to people as her girlfriend, especially since some of the people knew Vanessa from when they were engaged. 

She decided that waiting around wasn’t fun for either of them and she wanted to make it official with Vanessa as soon as possible. She invited her over for lunch that afternoon with the intention of asking her to be her girlfriend. When Vanessa arrived, she was wearing a sundress that she had worn on their vacation in Mexico and Brooke thought that she looked amazing, even better than she had back then. Brooke was overwhelmed with love for her again. She was taken back to how she felt when she proposed to her, which was only one year ago. As soon as Brooke placed their plates of food on the table, she asked her.

“Ness, I’ve been loving spending time with you recently and I know that we’re kind of in a strange situation here but…I really don’t want to lose you again. These past few months have really made it clear to me that my life is a million times better with you in it and breaking up with you was the worst decision I ever made. Will you please be my girlfriend again?” 

Vanessa practically screamed in excitement and of course said yes. She had a feeling Brooke was going to ask her that today so she decided to wear a dress that Brooke had loved just to really seal the deal and make herself irresistible to Brooke. Vanessa ran over to kiss Brooke immediately and they spent the rest of the day together, relaxing and making up for lost time. 

That night when Vanessa went home, Brooke went to the back of her closet and took out a jewellery box she had received as a gift last Christmas. She had put the promise ring Vanessa had gotten her back on the necklace and shoved it in the back of her closet to try and forget about it. But now she got to take it back out again. She couldn’t be happier.

She took it out of the box and put the necklace back on. She made a mental note to keep it under her clothes so that no one would see. She didn’t wanna freak Vanessa out by wearing it so soon but it just felt right. She was finally with the girl she loved again and all she wanted to do was be the love of Vanessa’s life forever. 

\--- 

25th December 2020

Christmas Day had come around again and the contrast from how the girls had spent their Christmas last year to this year was amazing. Last year, both of them had been alone and miserable. This year, they were back were they belonged: with each other. 

Vanessa’s mom was flying into New York on the 26th and Vanessa was beyond excited about it. She couldn’t wait for her mom and Brooke to reconnect again. Vanessa had originally wanted her mom to be here for Christmas but Mrs Mateo insisted on flying out the day after so that the couple could spend Christmas together for the first time again. 

They had already exchanged gifts and completed their usual traditions in the morning (Vanessa had woken Brooke up at 7am again) and after they had eaten some food, they decided to watch a Christmas movie. 

“Before we watch this, I actually have one more surprise for you,” Brooke announced and Vanessa was immediately excited. There was nothing she loved more than surprises. Brooke walked into her bedroom and brought out a small gift bag. She sat back down beside Vanessa and took out a small box and handed it to her. Vanessa opened the box and inside was a key. “I know you don’t like your apartment that much so I figured you might like living in mine a bit more.” Vanessa squealed in delight and hugged Brooke, saying she would love to move in with her. Vanessa loved Brooke’s apartment and she was so happy that she could call it her home now too.

“But wait, that’s not the only surprise I have for you,” Brooke took out another small box and Vanessa recognised it immediately. It was the box that her engagement ring came in. Vanessa couldn’t believe it. Brooke wanted to propose to her again. She couldn’t see what was happening because her vision was clouded by her tears. She was so happy. Brooke took her own necklace with her promise ring out of her sweater to show Vanessa that she had been wearing it all along. At that point, Vanessa was full on sobbing. Brooke tried her best to get Vanessa to stop crying to that she could actually propose to her properly and after a few minutes, she was successful. “Not having you in my life was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I’m sorry that it took me so long to realise that, you deserve so much more than that and I promise to spend my entire life making it up to you. But there’s one thing I’m certain about, Ness. The love we have for each other is so strong and we will always find our way back to each other, no matter what. I don’t know how I thought that a job was more important than our relationship but I’ve now come to realise that my job means absolutely nothing to me. You are the only thing that matters to me in this world. I don’t care about dream jobs; my only dream is to have you as my wife. I know this isn’t as special as the first time I asked, but Vanessa, will you marry me?” 

“Yes!” Vanessa said as she kissed her fiancé with tears streaming down both of their faces. “Nothing would make me happier.” They spent the rest of the day in their own little world, completely loved up and excited for the future. They talked about how they wanted their wedding to be, who they wanted to invite, where they wanted to live when they got older. Basically, all the conversations that Vanessa had wanted to have over a year ago when the only thing Brooke would focus on was work. Vanessa felt like her entire life was on track again. She had her dream job, she had Thackery and as of today, she had a gorgeous new apartment and a beautiful fiancé. Nothing could ruin that for her. 

What they didn’t see was Thackery up on the kitchen counter knocking over all of the sugar cookies and food they had made for Vanessa’s mom coming tomorrow. But they could deal with that later. Right now, they were too loved up to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr: kikimateohytes

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, angels! 
> 
> Come be festive with me on tumblr: kikimateohytes


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